THE SPEECH THE GOV. CANDIDATES WOULD GIVE IF THEY WERE SERIOUS.

THE SPEECH THAT WILL WIN DRUMTHWACKET

By Carl J. Mayer


With only days left in a close gubernatorial election that has focused almost exclusively on which candidate is the most corrupt, the following speech, delivered by either candidate, would bring home almost certain victory:

“Fellow citizens of New Jersey: I come before you this evening to make the most important announcement of my campaign.

I have today asked for the resignations of all my paid campaign advisors and professional consultants.

I intend, from this day forward, to restore the public’s trust in government, and I will do so by deed, not by word.

I have today instructed my financial advisors to sell all my holdings and invest the entire proceeds in New Jersey municipal bonds.

These bonds will be managed in a truly blind trust of which I will have no knowledge, other than the fact that my money is invested in a way that supports the people of New Jersey. As long as I govern this state, this is how my personal money will be handled and it will ensure the citizenry that I will have no conflicts and cannot benefit monetarily from government service.

Upon my election, I will open for a day the Governor’s mansion – Drumthwacket -- to every citizen in New Jersey who cares to come by with a suggestion or a greeting and I will personally shake each hand extended to me. Abraham Lincoln conceived of this practice, and it needs to be re-discovered.

Upon assuming office I pledge to immediately appoint as my Attorney General the most aggressive prosecutor I can find – from my opponent’s party.

I will appoint an Attorney General whose integrity is beyond reproach and who will have as his or her top priority ending corruption in New Jersey.

I will specifically instruct my Attorney General to interview every one of the so-called “Bosses” and lobbyists who run politics in New Jersey. I will direct my Attorney General to inquire of each Boss what knowledge he (there are only male Bosses) has of the dozens of local and county officials who have served jail terms for engaging in bribery, extortion and other violations of the public trust.

My first act as Governor will be to propose to the legislature a bill called the “Clean Money Act.” This measure has been adopted in other states, notably Arizona, Maine and Vermont. The Clean Money Act takes all private money out of politics. I know New Jersey taxpayers would rather pay a few extra bucks to have clean and honest elections if that means stopping the graft and the millions of taxpayer dollars sent down the rat hole of New Jersey fraud, dishonesty and bribery.

My second act will be to ban all no-bid contracts in the state of New Jersey so that never again will private interests fleece the taxpayer.

My third act will be to propose a constitutional convention for the specific purpose of enacting initiative and referendum in this state so that the people -- not the lobbyists --will control their own destiny.

Should I fail to act on any of these promises, I will immediately resign and call for a Special Election to fill the office with someone who will fight the corrosive graft that has become the hallmark of New Jersey government.

I have removed all of my attack commercials from the airways and will only campaign in person or by making this speech available in various media outlets for the duration of the campaign.

I hope each New Jersey citizen will join me in restoring faith and confidence in our common public endeavors.

Thank you and goodnight.”

Carl J. Mayer, an attorney, runs the only blog devoted to ending corruption in New Jersey: newjerseyuntouchables.blogspot.com.